Curiosity Screwed the Cat
by Jomatto
Summary: Kairi faces a tough situation: whether or not to read Sora's private journal.
1. Moment of Truth

**Moment of Truth**

This was the moment when friendships were tried, morals challenged, and trust tested.

Would she be able to resist the temptation?

In front of Kairi Uchida was her laptop. She kept her eyes trained on the keyboard, and dared not look up until she arrived at a firm decision. Her best and closest friend, a boy named Sora Hikari, had finished using her laptop ten minutes ago, but he forgot to do one very important thing:

Log out.

Her laptop was currently logged into his mooglescribe account, which was his personal blog. He was an aspiring writer with great talent. He posted loads of entertaining things about life. When she noticed that he was still logged in, she quickly glanced through his archive and recalled some of his best posts, but she encountered something she didn't expect: his private entries.

One of them was titled: _My Secret Love_. The second she read it, the possibilities exploded in her imagination. Dozens—nay—hundreds of girls flashed in her mind, all of them students from school. Which one of them was the lucky girl? He never showed any interest in girls, so to learn that he had a "secret love" was shocking. She thought it was rather romantic of him to hide his feelings in a private blog entry. It was sweet.

But.

To sneak a peek would be the grossest violation of his privacy, and a total betrayal of his trust. She should just log out and forget about it. Next time she saw him, she'd simply warn him to log out next time… Damn it, the curiosity was too much!

She gripped her head and agonized over the decision. She couldn't step over that line, but she wanted to know, but she couldn't, but she had to find out, but—**argggghh!**

She slammed her fist on the keyboard and the webpage changed. Oh no, she didn't mean to do that but…it was an accident. Okay, one sentence won't hurt—or just a paragraph. Sora was pretty long-winded when he wanted to be. She'd probably end up reading a fraction of it anyways, so a page won't hurt. Yeah, that was it.

Alright then, so who was Sora's secret love?

_I have a confession to make. This isn't something I say lightly, so bear with me if it takes me awhile to actually type it out. It's dumb, but I gotta hem and haw until it falls into place. I guess it's just a matter of gathering up courage. Shit, this is pretty hard. Even though nobody knows this, I am completely head-over-heels, daydream-at-the-worst times, stupid-grin-on-my-face, can't-get-her-out-of-my-head, in love with a girl. _

_That's right. The great Sora Hikari, the one guy that everybody secretly thought was asexual, has actual signs of a romantic heartbeat! You can say the reason it doesn't look like I was interested in anyone is because I was interested in only one person, my one true love. But what does an idiot like me know about love? Not a whole lot, but out of all the words in the dictionary, it's the only one that fits. And that really freaks me out. I'm hoping somebody could slap some sense into me and tell me that I'm not in love with her. _

_I thought, maybe, you know, this was just a crush. It happens, even to little kids. Nothing wrong about that. But can I really call this a crush if it's lasted for the last five years already? There's gotta be a time limit qualifier for "crushes." _

_I considered the possibility that it was just an infatuation, but that falls into the same trap as a crush. This goes beyond the surface level, it's gotten to the point of obsession, and that scares the shit out of me. Love—it's a crazy word. It has a ton of different meanings. You got love between parents, love between siblings, and love between friends._

_I'm already friends with her, but I definitely don't feel the same things for her as I do for my other friends. There's a very fine difference between her and everyone else. The difference? Well, I want to fuck her, and do all sorts of dirty things to her. Let's not beat around the bush here. _

_Which brings us to the next possibility—it's just lust. I'm a high school junior for god's sake; you can't blame me for having urges. Seeing as how she's the closest female to me, she probably became a natural target for my needs. It's a man thing. I gotta nail that badge of honor before I graduate. Maybe once I get it done with, that'll be the end of it, and I won't be feeling like this anymore. _

_But that's not right either. _

_Not only would it be a massive dick move (that's what she said) to screw her over like that, but I can't imagine screwing any other girl. I mean, if some girl stripped down and start rubbing herself against me, then yeah, maybe, but it wouldn't feel right at all. _

_The only girl I can rub one out to is her, which is kind of weird since I've got pictures of her since she was a little girl, but I obviously don't use those. Instead, I use a picture of her from our trip to the beach last summer. Oh man, if she knew what I was doing, she'd probably kill me and not even have the decency to wait until I was asleep to do it. _

_But it's getting to the point where I really can't stop thinking about her. It's not like I want to, but I end up fantasizing in class. Before I know it, the teacher calls on me and I've got a raging boner from daydreaming bedroom scenes for the last ten minutes. Talk about awkward. And it builds up throughout the day. I can't really concentrate until I get my "release" at home. It sounds like I'm a huge pervert, but it's not like all I ever think about is the different positions I can fuck her in. I am totally willing to give her a head too. It's all about reciprocity. Gotta return those favors.. _

_Sometimes, I get these wild ideas for dates that never happen except in movies. I want my special sunset too, like a private concert at the beach with her favorite artist, Julia Heartily, playing the piano for us. Fireworks explode in the sky and the moonlight shines on us as we waltz on the sand. There are candle-lit tables filled with only the finest cuisine. Hell, I'll be satisfied with just holding hands on a normal stroll through the park. I want those tender moments where we lay on the couch together and go on movie marathons. I want to walk into a restaurant and become the instant envy of all the guys in the room. I think up a lot of stupid stuff. But even something like us catching each other's gazes and smiling would make me really happy. _

_And I really want to nuzzle my face into her breasts. _

_That aside, there's really no way to explain this other than accept the fact that I'm in love with her. It's a wonderful thing, right? So like, why haven't I just asked her out and turned my fantasies into reality already? Well…it's a little complicated. I mean, I've known this girl for a long time already, and it all started in middle school. She's the first girl to give me those funny feelings— the so-called butterflies in my stomach. It's definitely the case where, the longer I wait, the worse off I am. It's an impossible proposition really. She probably thinks of me as a brother, which is totally awesome for me, since girls always dig their brothers. A man can only dream. I'm totally screwed, and not in a good way._

_I guess the only way I can get over her is to just confess. If it works, then awesome! If not, then I guess things will be weird for a little while. And if it breaks our friendship apart, then hell, fuck it. She'll probably think I'm joking at first. I don't know if I can take the suspense. It'll be great if she automatically realizes she loves me too, but realistically, she'll probably need some time to think about it. That's the moment of pure torture right there. Not knowing whether she'll say yes or no after you lay it out on her._

_So, that's pretty much it. I didn't expect this post to balloon this large, but I guess that's what happens when you keep things bottled up. Everything just gushes out under the pressure. I still haven't made my confession yet. Guess it just goes to show how hard I really don't want this to be true, but I have to face it sometime. Ain't nothing like the present. _

_I, Sora Hikari, am in love with my best friend._

Kairi whipped the laptop shut as soon as she finished reading the last line. Her heart was beating at mach speed and her mind was totally fucked. Did she really just read what she thought she read? She should've stopped herself, but Sora was too good a writer. How could she stop! It was impossible. She had no choice but to continue reading, and with each sentence that passed, and with each hint that was dropped, a sinking feeling settled into her stomach, and she almost passed out by the end.

There was no way in hell Sora was actually in love with her. That was 100% outside the realm of possibility. Nope, she was not having this at all. It was unacceptable. It was a joke—it had to be! He didn't type out her name explicitly. Even though she considered him her best friend, and he mentioned many times that he considered her his best friend, that "best friend" in the post could be somebody completely different. He must have a secret best friend that she never knew about. Yeah, that was it. Despite all that evidence matched up, like the fact they knew each other since they were kids and that they went to the beach together last summer, she couldn't possibly be…

Her head sank in resignation.

Oh god, Sora was in love with her, and she found out about it by reading his private blog entry behind his back, an entry that contained some very frank and explicit thoughts.

"What the fuck am I going to do now?"

* * *

**AN: This will be a short story.  
**


	2. Burden of Proof

**Burden of Proof**

How do you say "Good morning" to a person who, in all likelihood, was thinking about having sex with you at this very moment?

"G-good morn-MORNING, SORA!"

Very awkwardly, apparently.

Sora, who had emerged from his house to discover Kairi fidgeting on his porch, grinned back. "What's gotten into you? I didn't know you got excited about Wednesdays."

"Uh...hehehe…" She was at a loss for words. Get ahold yourself, girl! It wasn't like he confessed or anything. "L-let's just go to school." She stepped off the porch and shot off in the direction of Destiny High Academy.

It took her hours before she could sleep last night. She never considered the possibility of romance with Sora, it was as he wrote; she thought of him as a brother. It was too weird. But that wasn't the worst thing about this whole situation.

A line had been crossed, and she could never return again. She took advantage of Sora's trust and invaded his privacy. She peeked into his heart and mind without permission and learned things she was never meant to learn. Their friendship hung in the balance, and it was her fault.

After a restless night of thinking it over, she decided to pretend that everything was normal. Until she knew for sure, Sora was **not** in love with her. It sounded good on paper, but in practice, she was already off to a horrible start. She was already stuttering and sputtering like an engine on its last legs.

"You look tired. Did you sleep late?" he asked thoughtfully.

"Huh?" Panic struck her for the moment, but she managed to put a lid on it. "Oh, yeah. Just, um...watching my shows, you know?" Great, now she was jumping at anything he said and throwing out lousy excuses.

He tilted his head, as if analyzing the answer for holes. "I know you're totally hooked on those dramas, but get some sleep when you need it." He chuckled.

She frowned, recalling her reflection in the mirror this morning. It was like a few years were added to her face overnight. Dark bags drooped beneath her eyes and wrinkles ravaged her corners. She woke up late and couldn't go through her usual make up routine either.

"I don't know about you, but I am so not looking forward to the math test today. Who gives out tests on Wednesdays? Only evil people," he whined. "I tried studying last night, but I ended up falling asleep. That's the best cure for insomnia, read a math book. It's so boring! Are you ready for the..." Sora continued to babble on like he did every morning during their walks to school. It was their everyday routine.

So why wasn't she saying anything? She had to keep up appearances. Say something, anything! "Y-yeah, the test should be no problem."

"Huh?" He was confused. "What are you talking about?"

"The math test," she answered.

"Oh that? Jeez, welcome to ten minutes ago. I'm not even talking about that anymore. You're really out of it today."

She closed her eyes and sighed. "I guess I really do need my sleep..."

"Are you okay, Kairi? You're acting weird."

SHE was acting weird? No, the one acting weird was HIM. Why was he acting so carefree? Wasn't he the one in love with her? It was baffling how he showed no sign of his true feelings whatsoever. Somebody give him an academy award, because he definitely deserved it.

It was almost like...the entry was just one big joke. If what he wrote was true, then shouldn't he be acting differently? He was the same as always!

"I know, let's get some Cait Sith ice cream. That'll cheer you right up!" He brightened at his brilliant idea. "_A triple 7-slot sundae, a flavor for every weekday, always guaranteed to bring that frown upside down_," he sang.

Sora would randomly burst into song and belt out zany tunes for fun. Nothing could bring him down. He believed that conflicts could be solved through the power of skittles—taste the rainbow of friendship! His solution to every problem was food, even for the problems in class. He was a boy who cared deeply about others, and above all, his friends.

But he was a completely different online persona. When people read his writing for the first time, many refuse to believe that it was him. His level of eloquence shot through the roof, and this was coming from a guy who answered "Huh?" in class every time he was called on. He was blunt, pulled no punches, and indelicate. He basically became a jerk, but a lovable, clever, and sarcastic jerk online. For those who spent a lot of time with him, they got used to it. He didn't always get the best grades, but he always wrote the best papers. Although she had been with him long enough to realize that, she sometimes wondered if he had split personalities.

"Earth to Kairi, helloo, are you listening?" He waved his hands in front of her.

"Huh?" she said, snapping to his face.

He burst out laughing. "Now you're starting to sound like me! You've been ignoring me for the last five minutes. Should I cover for you in class?"

"No, it's okay. I'll take a nap during lunch or something." That was the second time she zoned out today.

"That's a great idea. I'll join you." Was this the hint she waited so long for?

"What do you mean by join me?" she asked suspiciously.

He shot her an odd look. "I'll take a nap too."

"Like...next to me?"

"Uh...no? I'm just gonna take a nap."

"But you said you wanted to join me."

"We all nap under the same sky. Wherever we are, we nap together!"

She slapped her forehead. How could she have been so dumb? Of course he would say something like that. She was reading too much into every little thing. If this kept up, she was gonna die from the insanity.

"But, er, would you want to? If you could... Sleep next to me?" Oh god, what was she saying? She wanted to confirm his feelings, but it sounded more like a come on. "Not that I want to, erm, I just wanted to know like, your feelings about that...yeah."

He had a dumb face but smiled. "You're funny."

It was a childish retort that made her feel even more childish for asking in the first place. "L-let's get to class before we're late!"

Sora looked at the time on his phone and his eyes went wide. "Crap, you're right!" They ran the rest of the way until they reached their classroom, out of breath. "Woo! Just in time!" he declared, celebrating with pumped fists.

Their classmates and friends smirked at the display. They counted on Sora to bring some levity into the grind of school. One of them was a blond boy named Tidus, who was very much from the same mold of stupidly adorable as Sora, except he was super popular as the star player of the blitzball team. Tidus and Sora got along famously, and some of the blond's popularity rubbed off on Sora.

Another friend was a gossipy brunette who learned the hard way, the stinging power of rumors. She joined the school newspaper and became an ardent pursuer of truth to redeem herself. She still gossiped, but at least she had the evidence to back it up. To Kairi, this made Selphie either the perfect candidate, or the worst person to vent her fears to.

Screw it; this was something she couldn't keep inside forever. For everything that Kairi couldn't say to Sora, she said to Selphie. She quickly sat down with her best girlfriend and steeled her resolve. "Selphie, I could use a little advice right now."

Selphie's internal rumor alarm was set off by Kairi's hush-hush attitude. "Of course!" she replied a little too eagerly.

"But first, promise me that you won't tell anyone about this?"

"Who do you think I am? I've learned my lesson, don't worry about it. My lips are sealed."

Kairi glanced around the room and leaned towards her friend's ear. "_I think Sora's in love with me_."

Selphie started giggling like a maniac, drawing attention from the surrounding students.

"Quiet down!"

"Sorry, it's just,"– she needed a few moments before her giggles died down –"it's just, you know, that's impossible. He doesn't have a romantic bone in his body, unless it was for burgers." Was Selphie, the most voracious of all rumorvours, actually denying the juiciest rumor Kairi had to offer since admitting a crush on her freshman history teacher?

"That's what I thought too, but, I..."

"Class is now starting!" the teacher announced. "Everybody take your seats. I'm calling roll."

"We'll talk later," Selphie promised.

Kairi needed to get it off her chest. Keeping it inside was killing her. It didn't help when Sora was sitting right there, looking clueless as always. What could he be thinking? Was he really fantasizing about her right now? No matter how she looked at it, he was just staring off into space.

"Sora, do you know the answer to this question?" the teacher asked.

Kairi's eyes lowered down to his pants. Wait, what the hell was she looking at? She shut her eyes and shook her head. But if what he said was true...then there should be a bulge right there between his legs. No, stop it! What was she thinking? Calm down, Kairi. The lecture was a struggle. She wanted to confirm what he wrote, but doing so would... Forget it!

The bell rang, and thankfully, she didn't have Sora in her next period. She had successfully resisted the temptation to stare at his crotch—although a few glances slipped—not because she was a pervert, but because of academic curiosity. Yeah. That was it. Academic curiosity.

After second period ended, she met up with Selphie. She was brimming with questions. "What makes you think he's in love with you? Did he confess or something?"

"No. Yesterday, he was hanging out at my house and borrowed my laptop. He forgot to log out of mooglescribe and I found a private blog entry."

"You hacked into his account?" Selphie gasped. "I never knew you had it in you."

"I didn't hack into his account, he just forgot to log out," she argued.

"And you actually looked into his private entries, even though they were clearly marked as private?"

"I...I'm not proud of it, but I couldn't help myself. There's no way Sora could actually like someone, right? But he had an entry titled: My Secret Love."

Selphie let out a squeal. If she encountered it for herself, she would've taken screenshots for posterity. "Is that true? What did it say?" She was a big fan of Sora's writing and often wished that she possessed the same talent.

"He said that he was in love with his best friend, which, no matter how you look at it, has got to be me."

The brunette gave Kairi a pointed stare. "Look at miss high and mighty here."

"What?"

"You're not his only friend. Thanks to Tidus, Sora's been getting popular, and his blog has attracted a lot of interest. You may not notice, but Sora's a hot item right now."

"Just because he's popular doesn't mean I'm not his best friend anymore."

"Aren't I your best friend?"

"Yeah, but—"

"You can have more than one best friend, you know."

The possibility was a glimmer of hope. "Then you're saying it's not me?"

"Did he mention your name at all?" Kairi shook her head. "Then it's not 100% guaranteed." Selphie stroked her chin. It seemed a new puzzle had arrived. She could feel her inner journalist burning. "This calls for investigation. There's a high chance it's you, but there's still a chance it's not. What makes you think it's you?"

"Um...he mentioned that he's been in love with her for five years."

"That's the beginning of middle school," Selphie said, calculating it mentally. "A lot of the girls here came from DMS. It could still be anybody."

"He also mentioned that he knew her since they were kids."

It was compelling evidence, but there was still reasonable doubt. "Would you consider yourself a kid when you were in middle school?"

"Huh?"

"Just answer the question."

"Well..." When she thought about it, her twelve-year old self was a toddler compared to her current sixteen-year old self. "I guess."

"So it can be any girl from middle school, see?"

"But he said they were friends."

"But did he say they were always friends?"

"He said he had pictures of her."

"It's called a yearbook, duh. Did he drop any other hints?"

"He mentioned her favorite artist, Julia Heartily."

"Is she your favorite artist?"

"Not anymore, but I still like her."

Selphie giggled. "In middle school, everybody was a fan of Julia. Even me."

"He also said they're like brothers and sisters."

"Come on, even I see Sora as a brother. For all you know, he's been talking about me this entire time!" The suggestion made the both of them pause. "I like a man who knows his way around the pen."

"Be serious here!" Kairi whispered harshly.

"Did he mention anything else about the girl, like hair color, eyes, or body type?"

"No... He actually didn't say a lot about her at all."

"Then why did you assume it was you?"

"I-I don't know."

Selphie smirked. "Maybe you're the one who's actually in love with him?"

"I'm not!"

"I don't know, judging from how you couldn't stop staring at him in class..."

"That wasn't—"

"Okay, I got it." Selphie relented, allowing Kairi some breathing room. "You know what they say about protesting too much."

"Selphie."

"Lighten up! Besides, I'm gonna to help you out." It probably wasn't out of the kindness of her heart, but any help was appreciated. She pulled out a piece of paper from her backpack and set it on the table. "Let's consider the possible girls. We can eliminate every girl that wasn't in our seventh grade class. Now, let's get rid of all the girls that he's not friends with right now. Hmmm... Don't you have any other clues?"

Clues... Kairi wracked her brain for another solid hint. "Oh yes! She went with him to the beach last summer."

The brunette's eyes lit up. "Ah! I remember that trip. If it's just from all the girls in that party, then that narrows down the list by a whole lot! Let's see..." She took out her pen and started writing names. "Okay, first candidate is you, since you want it so badly."

"I don't—"

"I'm just joking, jeez. Alright, next up is me!"

"Do you really think he can be in love with you?"

"There's no way I thought he liked anybody until you brought it up. But if he really does have a crush, he's not gonna show it. Anybody's fair game. Besides, I actually spend a lot of time with him. He helps me with me writing, you know?"

"You mean when he looks over your articles for you?"

"Jealous?"

"No."

"Keep up the good fight." Selphie didn't believe her for a moment. "Oh yeah, there's Naminé! Hmmm, if it's her, it makes a lot of sense. Remember how she was like in middle school?"

"She was quiet and lonely."

"Yeah, but Sora walked right up to her and forced her to become our friend. Maybe he went out of his way on purpose, if you know what I mean."

"He does that with everybody. I don't think he singled her out because he liked her." Kairi had seen him reach out to anybody and everybody indiscriminately. It was just in his nature to be friendly.

"I guess you're right. What about Yuffie? They're pretty similar if you think about it."

"Yeah, they're both idiots."

Selphie laughed. "Who else came along with us on that trip? Olette?"

"Isn't she already going out with Hayner?"

"I forgot." She shook her head. "They don't even act like a couple. I forget they're together sometimes."

"Who else is there?"

Selphie tapped her pen against the desk. "There's Xion."

"I heard she has a crush on Roxas," Kairi informed.

"They're not official, so let's put her down too."

"How many names did you write down?"

"Let's see: you, me, Naminé, Yuffie, and Xion."

"That's…a lot of names."

"Process of elimination then! Now which one of us doesn't like Julia? That means Yuffie's out. So it's me, you, Naminé, and Xion. Does Sora know that Xion likes Roxas?"

"I think so, but she's only friends with us _because_ of Roxas. Sora and Xion didn't really talk until high school, so I don't think it's her," Kairi reasoned.

"Crossed out. That just leaves me, you, and Naminé. Hard to believe that we're the three closest girls to him. So which one of us has the hots for him?"

Kairi crossed her arms. "Would you really be okay if it turned out to be you?"

"Okay? I'd be happy! It's nice to know that there's someone out there who loves me. If that person is Sora, well, I'm getting wet just thinking about it."

"Ugh... You'd two would be a perfect fit for each other," she mumbled. Were all her best friends closet perverts?

Selphie stood up and crumpled her paper. "May the best girl win!"

"He's already picked a winner."

"I know, but we don't know who that is yet. Until we know for sure, it's a race! Let me know if you find out anything."

"What do you mean?"

"Check his blog for updates. You didn't log out, did you?"

Kairi hadn't touched her laptop since she slammed it shut. "N-no."

"Good, keep it logged in. This doesn't just concern you, it concerns me too, and Naminé, so it's your duty to keep an eye on his blog."

"This isn't right!"

"What he doesn't know, won't hurt him." She winked and hopped away.

Kairi blew on her bangs. Unbelievable. How did things end up like this? It was a dumb question because she knew the answer.

And she'd been regretting it ever since.


End file.
